Ladies, Introducing The Modern Man


Men used to live in caves and now we walk upright pretending to be civilised. If that’s everything you know about men, let me catch you up to 2017 because a lot has changed. You see, you’re about to discover that the stereotype for the man has all but disappeared. We are the new, improved man, version 2.0. And, just like new technology some of the old bugs are still causing problems.

We Dress Well

Yes, the modern man does care about style. He looks at himself in the mirror in the morning and chooses the perfect outfit for a day in the office or out on the street. He no longer shops for clothes in supermarkets and instead buys from Topman and… other men’s style shops. You might be surprised at just how much the modern man will spend on style too. Women are obviously hit with the stereotype of being obsessed with all things style. But, a man can easily spend a few hundred after just half an hour in their favourite clothing store.

But We Still Smell

Apparently, grubby men still inhabit our society with a staggering amount of modern men only showering or bathing three times a week. We’re not sure how they manage this as after one night in bed the underarm starts to smell like a leaking sewage tank. We suspect they cover it up with both cologne and deodorant, neither of which will hide that smell for very long at all.

We Love Our Hair

This is one area where the lines between men and women have definitely changed. In the past, men would head to a barbers to get their haircut for anything under ten quid. Women on the other hand would get theirs styled by a professional. Now though, there are unisex salons where you’ll find the modern men picking out a hairstyle of the male celeb. That might be a quiff, a dye job or something that looks a lot like a small fluffy rodent sitting on the scalp.


Oh, it’s not just the hair on the top of our head that we’re interested in these days. The beard is back boys, with lots of people – who are able to grow one – rocking the fashionably look. This is where the grubby male is actually quite stylish. If you grow a beard right it can look completely unkempt and cool at the same time. It’s sad news for anyone who struggles to grow facial hair that doesn’t end up looking like a mould infestation. But even they are able to grow a moustache.

We’ll Try And Get It Right

Finally, the modern man will attempt to get things right, but we’ll still screw up. Piers Morgan while looking like a modern man will still refer to women as Nazis. Boyfriends everywhere will struggle with their partners obsession in Fifty Shades of Grey. And while we’ll do our best to cook in the kitchen, you can almost definitely look forward to a few burnt meals.

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